"I love you but shut up."
Do you ever need kids to just be quiet? I'm not talking about the moments where you just crave silence at the end of the day (or the middle...or the beginning). I mean the minutes where you need to give instructions and kids will not stop talking or making noise.
You're getting ready to go out the door.
You're trying to start a science experiment.
You need to give chore instructions.
Friends are visiting and it's time to clean up.
My kids now all know and respond to a simple sign: "I love you," in ASL, hand raised in the air. If I do this while saying one loud word to get their attention, they are supposed to do it in return and clamp their little mouths closed. I got this tool years ago from a friend working as my boss while we worked summer camps together and it's incredible how effective I've found it. It has a simple and straightforward name, too.
"I love you, but shut up."
I teach this to my own kids and to small groups I teach by demonstrating and explaining a few times. I say something like "Hey!" if they don't notice, with my hand in the air and held there while I talk or begin talking; they fall silent and also do the sign themselves in return while looking toward my face. I don't require direct eye contact as long as it's the general direction of my body and they aren't visibly giving their attention to something else.
We practice it a lot for the first hour or first days. I'll get their attention just to say, "Hey, I love you," or "You guys are doing a good job." This connects the motion with the action of being quiet and ready to listen, and gives them something specific to switch their energy to (raising their hand, holding it there, managing the finger motion) instead of just requiring a dead stop. It's about a hundred times more effective than simply yelling or calling "Be quiet!" Don't expect it to work for more than a minute or so. It's a tool to quickly grab attention and ears for a brief period, not to instruct kids to be quiet for an extended period.
If you are opposed to the phrase "shut up," you can easily change it. "I love you, but be quiet!" or "I love you, so shhh." It doesn't even have to be the ASL sign. What's important is that you pick something and then stick with it. It's not going to give you silence all day long (that would be boring anyway) but it might buy you thirty seconds to get across, "Hey, go get your shoes on."
You're getting ready to go out the door.
You're trying to start a science experiment.
You need to give chore instructions.
Friends are visiting and it's time to clean up.
My kids now all know and respond to a simple sign: "I love you," in ASL, hand raised in the air. If I do this while saying one loud word to get their attention, they are supposed to do it in return and clamp their little mouths closed. I got this tool years ago from a friend working as my boss while we worked summer camps together and it's incredible how effective I've found it. It has a simple and straightforward name, too.
"I love you, but shut up."
I teach this to my own kids and to small groups I teach by demonstrating and explaining a few times. I say something like "Hey!" if they don't notice, with my hand in the air and held there while I talk or begin talking; they fall silent and also do the sign themselves in return while looking toward my face. I don't require direct eye contact as long as it's the general direction of my body and they aren't visibly giving their attention to something else.
We practice it a lot for the first hour or first days. I'll get their attention just to say, "Hey, I love you," or "You guys are doing a good job." This connects the motion with the action of being quiet and ready to listen, and gives them something specific to switch their energy to (raising their hand, holding it there, managing the finger motion) instead of just requiring a dead stop. It's about a hundred times more effective than simply yelling or calling "Be quiet!" Don't expect it to work for more than a minute or so. It's a tool to quickly grab attention and ears for a brief period, not to instruct kids to be quiet for an extended period.
If you are opposed to the phrase "shut up," you can easily change it. "I love you, but be quiet!" or "I love you, so shhh." It doesn't even have to be the ASL sign. What's important is that you pick something and then stick with it. It's not going to give you silence all day long (that would be boring anyway) but it might buy you thirty seconds to get across, "Hey, go get your shoes on."
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